hallways of always

"hallways of always"

i begged for one last summer,

my lover but there is a darkness.

your voice no longer carries in

the hallways of always. goodbye

is only a word, so keep your

head from your hands-

our love has never spoiled.

you stand naked with uneasy eyes.

through life, i've given you the stars

but now all i can give is my jacket. babe, i

want you today & i'll want you tomorrow.

if i had a father he'd tell me that

there is a light that i'll meet,

that'll vindicate me. but darling,

it is surely no home for me.

the bottles are empty & money spent.

as the curtain is drawn, i've made amends

with past lovers, my brother, & friends.

before i hit the road, i should say goodbye,

'cause surely it's closing time.

love is a possessed word; a false

clock that ticks out of spite.

n/a

if you're sick to your stomach

pull out the knife.

n/a

eventually i will be gone

& you will be alone.

ellipsis.

n/a

rotten corn bled of worms

in my decent skin, this is all i am version 2

"in my decent skin, this is all i am version 2"

i lift my eyes toward the sky

& inhale the bleakness

of midwestern snow.

my eyes get lost in flickers

of white heaven scraps

that fall & melt on my

pale skin.

one day, i tell her, i will be an old

man drinking coffee & reading the

newspaper in an old wooden chair. i will

be content until my coffee becomes cold

& my joints ache.

flakes fall quicker now. her green

eyes staring into my grey eyes. i know

what is implied though in truth i

resign myself to the facts of the matter:

i am young though i am not what i am.

the snow is pallorous but it does not carry

light the way her skin carries light.

i rub my hands to generate warmth &

i start to speak to myself but the sentences form

backwards & the words tumble down my throat

& crawl into the tips of my fingers.

the old man groans within me & tells me precisely

what i need to hear. but for now i am young

& i do not heed the warning.

all good things version 2

"all good things version 2"

words i speak are the structure

of goodnight kisses. my tongue is an

architect & my teeth are a workshop of poets.

my eyes have searched for

a muse with a subtle urgency,

though never desperation. now,

i want time to hold me hostage.

i see my friends' faces in moments

of writer's block. i speak sentences

about the simpleness of money & the way

snow comes when it is needed the most.

you have made my warm blood

retreat to the corners of my body.

this is not a love poem nor is it a

renunciation. this is a heart's noise-making.

n/a

i can see the future and there is no love to speak of.