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i dreamt of lake michigan. dreamt
that i could smell
foul water & the
waste of the mill furnace.
watched Bethlehem’s stale candle.
& sister,
i dreamt of you.
you
up to your shoulders in water.
from the beach,
i watched mercurial waves lick
your
clavicle.
saw a host of gulls circle
over us,
& waited for their cries
like distant
door hinges.
i thought of the rosary
mother gave you
& sister, i
stopped
believing
but prayed to the gulls anyway.
& i couldn’t get to father. so i
waited
for you. i stayed
perched at your window,
watching
the garden tremble.
sometimes hiding
under your covers.
& it's true,
i can smell your sweat laced with the
dirt of summer.
sister, i wondered if you had
drowned
or forgot how to swim.
i could teach you again.
(i thought you might like
the water)
on your side of the bed i reason
to myself how you didn’t cry at
our stepfather’s funeral. you’d find me
rose-eyed
just staring at your ceiling.
sister,
you are a russian doll
& i keep you safe.
& sister, in my dreams i wait for you,
i wait just to hear for
your footsteps to
crack on our floorboards.
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