my love -
i admire
your unwavering spirit,
your romantic intent.
your faithless salitter.
i've forgotten how to think:
you've rearranged me.
though still,
no one is funny.
the air is empty but there is a light
coming from underneath your
door.
at an old oak desk your pen
scribbles words about touching skin
& remembering the way blood flows.
i've pinned your old poems to the inside
of my jacket for memory or for safekeeping.
but now
you talk in theories i don't recognize.
refining
speech
diagramming
words.
words
that measure me.
a strategy -
a scale balancing options:
calculating what i could be traded in for.
i'd better get a drink, before i get
bored.
bored standing in our bedroom door
drinking.
you'd never find me & i won't call
i'll just stand there
drinking,
just fucking
drinking.
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