in my decent skin, this is all i am version 2

"in my decent skin, this is all i am version 2"

i lift my eyes toward the sky

& inhale the bleakness

of midwestern snow.

my eyes get lost in flickers

of white heaven scraps

that fall & melt on my

pale skin.

one day, i tell her, i will be an old

man drinking coffee & reading the

newspaper in an old wooden chair. i will

be content until my coffee becomes cold

& my joints ache.

flakes fall quicker now. her green

eyes staring into my grey eyes. i know

what is implied though in truth i

resign myself to the facts of the matter:

i am young though i am not what i am.

the snow is pallorous but it does not carry

light the way her skin carries light.

i rub my hands to generate warmth &

i start to speak to myself but the sentences form

backwards & the words tumble down my throat

& crawl into the tips of my fingers.

the old man groans within me & tells me precisely

what i need to hear. but for now i am young

& i do not heed the warning.